Effective Parent Conferences

The Little Things You Can Do for Them Today That Can Lead Them to Big Things Tomorrow: Effective Parent Conferences

Always Attend Their Parent Conferences

The 2018/2019 school year is just about over now.  How well did your child do in school?  What were their greatest achievements? What did they struggle with?  Were you aware of these struggles?  How did you and the teacher team up to help your child succeed?  If you didn’t, let’s explore how it can get better next year.

Parent teacher conferences are an important meeting for your child’s overall academic success.  Do not miss any.  It is a time when the  teacher, parents, and student discuss what has been working well, things to improve in, and goals to achieve the best grades.  How many of you do that?  Let me guess, is it the teacher starting with some general positive comments about your child but then bombarding you with all the negative things that you must address to get them to behave better? 

Empathize With the Teacher

First let’s take a look at what a teacher might be going through: teaching 20+ students, all being at different academic levels, paperwork for each and everyone one, managing behavior and meeting expectations, and not to mention staff meetings.  There is a lot that teachers do.  We sometimes forget that they too need support.  I encourage you to look at your schedule and find at least one day in the month that might be used to go help out your child’s teacher.

When teachers feel supported, they are better able to support their students (your child!).  Support from parents might look like this: ensuring students are completing their homework assignments, communicating challenges at home that might affect child in the classroom, and volunteering to help in the classroom even if it’s only once a month.  Involved parents are demonstrating to their child that support is available to everyone.  Next time you see your child’s teacher, ask them, do you need help with something?  How can I help make things a little easier in your classroom?  Trust me, they will be shocked; but most importantly, something magical will happen.  They will begin to focus more on the children and provide more support. 

Prepare With Your Child

We often forget the most important person in a parent-teacher conference - the child.  Encouraging your child to be a part of the conference means hearing them out.  You as a parent are their advocate.  Who else will stand up for your child if it’s not you?  They need to know that this conference is not about the complaints of the teacher that will result in punishment from you, but more so about where he or she struggles.   This is a good opportunity to show them that both you and the teacher will work together to encourage and support them in their development and growth. 

How do you get them to participate?  Ask your child what their thoughts on their teacher are.  Did the teacher help when they asked for it? If so, how did they help?  What is one thing they love about this teacher?  What is one thing they wish they could change about them?  And more importantly, are there any concerns with other students that should be talked about?  When children feel heard they begin to open up.  By you asking them these questions you are letting them know that school can be tough and challenging sometimes, but you are there to help them through it.  Did you forget how it was for you?  Talking to your children with empathy opens the lines of trust and communication in your relationship.

How to Make the Best Out of Parent Conferences

Now that you have prepared your child for the conference, let’s prepare you.  Practice having an open mind about what the teacher might be going through on a daily basis.  Keep in mind that they might need your support.  Have an idea as to what day you may offer your time.  Also, practice talking to your child about their own concerns in regards to their teacher, what they really enjoy about them, and what might be something they need your help with.  During the conference, it would be a good idea to create goals and a time frame of when you're child should be meeting standards.  If they have not, discuss how to handle them.

Do you as the parent have any concerns in mind?  We often have so many good questions and valid concerns we wish to address, but the problem is when we are finally sitting in the actual parent conference, all of our questions and concerns go out the window.  Think about when you go to a doctor visit.  By the time it’s over you realize you forgot to ask them the million questions you had prior to your appointment.  The best thing to do prior to a parent conference is to write down any questions or concerns you may have so that you can address each one that’s on your list.  This will help to have a fulfilled conference focusing directly on your child’s needs.

What if you don’t know what to ask or let alone, how to ask it?  Below I have provided a list of good questions to ask your child’s teacher during the conference.  In addition, I have added some links that provide good questions to keep in mind.  Copy them into the notes you are taking and add your own twist to them if needed.  Remember you are your child’s number one advocate and role model, show them you support them.

What’s the best way to communicate with you? 

Who does my child work well with? 

Do you have any concerns about my child? 

How can I help at home to support what you’re doing in the classroom?

Is there a time of the day that you notice my child being more or less engaged? 

How can we work together to help my child?

https://www.mother.ly/child/5-productive-questions-ask-teachers-conferences

https://www.verywellfamily.com/questions-to-ask-at-a-parentteacher-conference-620921

Once you know a little more about your child’s strengths and challenges, getting extra help outside of school is a good idea.  Consider contacting us at Wiz Kid Tutor where a specialized tutor can help make those challenges into mastering milestones.  www.wizkidtutor.com

Provide Structure

1.     Provide Structure

How often do you lose your keys, or that one important paper you knew you would need and now you can’t find it?  What about the pen you were just using?  Getting organized can help eliminate many life’s little stressors.  Do you ever notice the stress you feel when something does not go as planned?  Now imagine how chaotic that might be for your child.  Children work best when they know what’s coming.  What about when you just do not know how to do something, how frustrating is that?  Take for example, your child’s homework.  It’s been a long time since you probably have been in school, or the way they are teaching now is totally different than when you were young.  When all else fails ask for help.  Wiz Kid Tutor is always here to help.  A lot of tantrums can be avoided if children know where things belong, know beforehand what’s coming next, and get the help they need when things get challenging.  Providing structure for children does not have to be stressful.  Here are a couple tips to keep in mind:

A.     Have structure in their environment: Kids have a lot of toys, let’s be real. While it’s great to have a variety of choices, have it structured. This means allowing them to pick an activity and put things away before they go to the next.  How many times do you pick up their toys? Stop doing that, instead, do it together through a song or going half and half. Sing, “Clean-up, clean-up, everybody everywhere. Clean-up, clean-up, everybody do your share” together as you clean.  Ask them to pick “which ones do you want to put away, these or those”, they do the one they say and you let them know you will do the others.  If they say they are “tired”, acknowledge their feeling and say something like, “the faster we finish the faster we can go snuggle and rest”.  They will try everything to get away from cleaning but don’t give in, make sure they “do their share”. 

B.      Establish daily routines: Having daily routines helps to provide structure and makes good habits become second nature.  Take for example brushing teeth.  Do you brush your teeth after every meal? (I know I don’t) Well, how can we expect children to do as the dentist says if we don’t do it ourselves.  According to the National institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research, 42% of children 2 to 11 have had dental caries in their primary teeth.  Black and Hispanic children and those living in families with lower incomes have more decay.  This is just one type of routine.  Establishing daily routines can help children know what is next.  These are good habits that can follow them throughout their life.  This also helps with avoiding tantrums.  When something new is coming, help them understand what will happen.  You’d be surprised at how well children respond when they know what is coming next. 

C.     Offer or find help: Do you remember when you were in school?  Did things come easy or did you struggle?  How did your parents give you help?  Things have not really changed much with students in school these days.  Students continue to struggle for a variety of reasons.  There are those who understand a particular subject well while struggle with another.  How do you help them?  Knowing how to do something is different than teaching it.  Leave that to Wiz Kid Tutor.  Do you often fight with your child to do their homework?  We tend to confuse laziness with not understanding how to do something.  Children demonstrate their frustration in different forms.  Helping them can be as easy as finding the right tutor for them.  Is your child an A student but at times gets challenged?  We have tutors to keep them on top of their game as well.  Call to get an assessment and see where they stand in their academics.  Help will always be provided at Wiz Kid Tutor.

How do you provide structure?

www.wizkidtutor.com

National institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research

https://www.nidcr.nih.gov/research/data-statistics/dental-caries/children